Posts by Sail Away

8

Ex-JWs In The Dating Scene - It's A Whole New Game

by pale.emperor in

since leaving watchtower it still strikes me as odd how little i knew the real world and how it works.

i thought i knew how it worked but it turns out i didnt.

as jws we were always "courting with a view to marriage".you go on one date with a girl and everyone's expecting you're gonna marry her?

Sail Away

As JWs we were always "courting with a view to marriage".You go on one date with a girl and everyone's expecting you're gonna marry her? You know the drill. You meet at a JW get-together or convention. You get the number. You arrange to meet up at a party or something (lots of chaperones of course). You maybe kiss. You date for a few years then get engaged. Looking back is the most ridiculous thing i've ever heard.

Date for a few years? Ummm, try date and get married in three months. I know for a fact I'm not the only one.

9

Child Custody/Visitation questions? JW Parent and me as the non JW parent

by Gokumonkey in

hello everyone, this is my fellow up from my first post, feel free to check that out if your unsure of the whole situation.

i have two twin babies that are now two months old.

i already to my ex to court, yes i took her to court and now im established as the father and ill be paying child support next week.

Sail Away

I agree with lostgeneration . No baptism before age 18 . My father, who was not a JW, allowed me to get baptized at age 16 . That was a mistake.

I'm so sorry you're going through this . It seems that you have a good plan.

5

Spiritual headship question

by charity7 in

non jw here married to a jw.

i was told by two witnesses that if a woman jw were to marry a non jw that she would have no say whatsoever in what their children would believe or go to church if he was of a different religious belief and he enforced it.

from what i've read in different threads this is actually not the case.

Sail Away

I knew a family in this situation very well. The husband was Catholic and insisted in raising their children in his religion. He didn't allow them to go to the Kingdom Hall ever. The JW mother "studied" with the kids every day after school while the father worked. The elders sanctioned this, and she was such a self-righteous, "long-suffering" role model for the congregation. By the time the kids were in their teens they were indoctrinated witnesses and both got baptized.

The mother got a "scriptural" separation on the grounds of "absolute spiritual endangerment", because he lost it and went over the deep end. The couple eventually divorced. Both kids married JWs and are still in and have nothing to do with the non-JW father.

22

Watchtower Victims Memorial Day!!!

by Christian Gutierrez in

jw
friends

hey guys i just wanted to share with you all a video we made this week for watchtower victims memorial day.

cheers!

😊.

Sail Away

Well done! The draw of the promise of a happy family life is so powerful. It is what drew my father and lead to my entrapment as a pre-teen until my early fifties. It wasn't until I nearly lost my own family due to shunning that I gathered the strength to walk away. The organization destroys individuals and families every day. Keep up your good work of saving lives.

48

"You're going to die in Armageddon"

by Jules Saturn in

i'm sure i am not the only one to have heard this come out of the mouths of my loved ones.

it's a very painful thing to hear, especially when it comes from the people like your own parents/family.

even after i've been told that, they would say "we'll just continue life without you.

Sail Away

The one active JW that still initiates contact with me for social reasons told me she has plenty of non-JW friends, so she doesn't have a problem with associating with me. Also, if I want to choose suicide with my adult children (I have made it clear that I refuse to shun my kids.) over living forever in paradise, It's my choice. I don't call her.

48

"You're going to die in Armageddon"

by Jules Saturn in

i'm sure i am not the only one to have heard this come out of the mouths of my loved ones.

it's a very painful thing to hear, especially when it comes from the people like your own parents/family.

even after i've been told that, they would say "we'll just continue life without you.

Sail Away

It's all about fear, manipulation and control. I was a preteen in the late '60's. I swallowed the whole 1975 thing hook, line and sinker-- my family was going to be destroyed by God, fire balls raining from heaven, the earth swallowing them up forever. I never said it to them, but I believed it. I believed I would have to be prepared to die in a consentration camp or prison as an act of loyalty if called upon. I might be brutally raped, beaten and murdered like the brothers and sisters in Malawi.

These beliefs caused recurring nightmares, severe anxiety and depression through my mid-thirties, and they are one factors in my PTSD.

I was doing well and was stable for about five years post exit, off all meds even, but life has thrown some curve balls, and I'm highly reactive and easily triggered again.

Please, if you are a parent with a young child in this cult, get out now and allow your children a happy, normal childhood.

42 years in, 7 out and still struggling.

21

its saturday morning and its pouring down rain...

by nowwhat? in

how many jdubs are going out in service anyway because "they have to get their time in.

" that's some "best life ever!

" you guys got going on!

Sail Away

I'm recuperating from traveling overseas to visit family (20 hours travel time to and from), so my lovely Saturday began with sipping a cup of coffee on the beach while Emma (stage left) ran around with her doggie friends and I chatted with their "mom". Followed by buckwheat blueberry pancakes with hubby.

I worked on a business advertising project a bit and conferred with my graphic designer. Then shopped summer clearance sales for my grandsons and went to the farmers' market with Emma while hubby taught sailing. Read some and checked Facebook, took a much needed nap, picked some flowers in my yard for my living room and booked an Airbnb room for next weekend's sail (sailing students are staying aboard overnight while we spend the night nearby in a beautiful small New England town).

Went out for a yummy warm soft pretzel and a drink with my neighbor. Then I accompanied her to her late husband's grave-- an assignment from her therapist, because she is still deeply grieving his loss.

Returned home, lit some candles, put up my feet and shared my baked macaroni and cheese not really a recipe with my son over the phone so he can make it for a picnic tomorrow.

It's all the simple things and connecting from the heart that the real life is made of. Enjoy it while It lasts and don't waste another Saturday in "field service" if you can at all help it-- 42 years of wasted Saturdays here. Just sayin'.

10

I've created a survey

by pale.emperor in

hi guys.

thanks for taking part in the previous poll i did about disfellowshipping.. i've created a survey here: https://goo.gl/atcm22.

and the results will be published here: https://goo.gl/qzqzjd.

Sail Away

How long were you visiting apostate sites on a regular basis (at least once a week) before you decided to leave Watchtower?

I left as a believer and didn't figure out TTATT until about 6 months later.

19

Starting To Wake Up

by Searching in

i suppose after lurking around for a few weeks i thought i might share my own personal story, as i think it would probably be a very freeing experience for me right now.

to start off, at 23 years old i'm actually a third-generation jw, my grandparents were baptized (my grandfather is actually an elder) when my mother was only a toddler, she was raised as a witness, then of course, married a witness and thus myself and my two brothers were born-in's.

growing up my mother was always very careful about what she taught me, all the good things for sure, about how we would live in a paradise earth and i could pet all the animals that i wanted and not worry about growing old, and she'd ask me who in the bible i'd love to see and talk with - my grandparents however, were a different story and the cause of i think, most of my childhood trauma.. they really drilled home the fact that we were the only people who were going to be saved, we were the only people that were going to survive and that everyone else was going to die horribly - that i shouldn't try to make that many friends in school because they would never be "real" friends unless they were fellow jw's and they would die anyway.

Sail Away

Your questions are what lead me to walk away. My son has always been a gentle soul and is a beautiful young man. He married his childhood friend and sweetheart, a JW with terminal cancer. Things ended badly, as one might expect. He was deeply hurt and acted out. The elders kicked him to the curb and DF'd him. I couldn't shun him; I wouldn't.

I began to reason, if I was going to live forever in a paradise earth without my husband and daughter who walked away and my son who was DF'd, wouldn't Jehovah have to erase them from my memory? If I didn't remember I had been a wife and a mother, who would that be in paradise? Certainly not me. I chose life here and now with my family over a doctrine that made no sense to me. Best choice ever-- the only one if you love your family more than a fairy tale.

16

Connection between shunning and Alzheimer's

by poopie in

jw
friends

another reason to stop social isolation..

Sail Away

Chook: Maybe it affects people with rejection issues, it's the most vile of diseases, we had a family member affected in the last 12 months, he went from normal to being in full time care sometimes being spoon fed. It maybe the bodies way of shutting out emotional pain, who knows?

That sounds like an exceedingly fast progression for this disease! I hope there has been more than one medical opinion on this.

And, yes, there is such a thing a pseudo-dementia which happens when someone is highly anxious and depressed about something and in denial about it at the same time. The patient starts exhibiting signs of dementia including short-term memory loss, disorientation, mood swings, aberrant behavior, threatening, etc.